Why
We Don't Need "Women's" Ministry
Dear
Women's Ministry:
The world can give me cute cupcake designs and decorating
tips, scrapbooking parties, casserole recipes, and other ways to pass the time.
But truly, with my respect and love, may I be honest? If I wanted to learn
how to decorate cupcakes, I would take a class in it. If I wanted to be
educated on strategies for decorating my home inexpensively from Winners, I
would just, you know, go to Winners. Or Pinterest.
But I'm here with you
now because I want what the world cannot give me.
We're
choking on cutesy things and crafty bits, safe lady topics, and if one more
person says that modest is hottest with a straight face, I may throw up.
We
are hungry for authenticity and vulnerability, not churchified life hacks from
lady magazines. Some of us are drowning, suffocating, dying of thirst for want
of the cold water of real community. We're trying really hard--after all, we
keep showing up to your lady events, and we leave feeling just a bit empty. It's
just more of the same every time.
The
women of our world aren't looking for a safe place to cry about housework and
ooh-and-ahhh over centerpieces. We're not all mothers, some of us work outside
the home, some of us have kids, and others don't or won't or can't. Is
womanhood only about wifehood and motherhood? What about those among us that
are not wives and mothers? We're not all in the same season of life. We are -
or should be - diverse image bearers of a Divine God.
We
need Jesus. We are seeking deep spirituality. We are seeking fellow travelers.
We are hungry for true community, a place to tell our stories and listen to
another, to love well. But above all, point me to Jesus--not to the sale at the
mall.
You
know what I would have liked instead of decorating tips or a new recipe?
· I would have liked to
pray together.
· I would have liked the
women of the church to share their stories or wisdom with one another, no more
celebrity speakers, please just hand the microphone to that lady over there
that brought the apples.
· I would love to wrestle
with some questions that don't have a one-paragraph answer in your study guide.
· I would like to do a
Bible study that does not have pink or flowers on the cover.
· I would have liked to
sign up to bring a meal for our elderly or drop off some clothes for a new baby
or be informed about issues in our city where we can make space for God.
· I would like to organize
and prioritize, to rabble-rouse and disturb the peace of the rest of the world
on behalf of justice, truth, beauty, and love. I'd love to hear the prophetic
voice of women in our church.
Please, may we be the place to detox from the
world - its values, its entertainment, its priorities, its focus on appearances
and materialism and consumerism?
So here is my suggestion: Please stop treating
women's ministry like a Safe Club for the Little Ladies to Play Church.
We
are smart. We are brave. We want to change the world. We run marathons to
benefit our sisters, not so that we can lose weight. We have more to offer to
the church than our mad decorating skills.
I look around, and I can see that these
women can offer strategic leadership, wisdom, counsel, and even, yes,
teaching. We want to give and serve and make a difference. We want to be
challenged. We want to read books and talk politics, theology, and current
events. We want to wrestle through our theology. We want to listen to each
other. We want to worship, we want to intercede for our sisters and weep with
those who weep, rejoice with those that rejoice, to create life and art and
justice with intention.
Let's be a community of women, gathered together to
live more whole-heartedly, to sharpen, challenge, love, and inspire one another
to then scatter back out to our worlds bearing the mandate to be women that
love.
Idelette McVicker wrote:
Let us RISE to the questions
of our time.
Let us SPEAK to the
injustices in our world.
Let us MOVE the
mountains of fear and intimidation.
Let us SHOUT down the
walls that separate and divide.
Let us FILL the Earth
with the fragrance of Love.
Let us be women who
Love.
I'll
bring the cupcakes next time (although they likely won't look as cute).
Sarah Bessey writes at www.sarahbessey.com, where she has become an accidental grassroots voice for postmodern and emerging women in the Church on issues from mothering to politics and theology to ecclesiology. Her writing has been well received in many publications including ChurchLeaders.com, Relevant Magazine, A Deeper Story, SheLoves Magazine, and Emergent Village. Sarah also works with Mercy Ministries of Canada, a non-profit residential home for women seeking freedom from life-controlling issues. She is a happy-clappy follower of Jesus and social justice wannabe. Sarah lives in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada with her husband, Brian, and their three tinies: Anne, Joseph and Evelynn Joan.
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